Investor Horoscope, 18 December – You Are What They Eat

Avoid investing in unicorns, products promising guaranteed returns, or heeding Albert Edwards’ advice that economic Armageddon is a lighting bolt waiting for you to step outside. There are few absolutes in life except that today it will be Monday all day until it becomes Monday night. And tomorrow it will no longer be Monday. You will be followed by predictions of rising markets and falling markets in the future. Both are equally correct, integrally linked and impossible to align with any certainty to the X-axis. If you are fat and balding and sitting alone in a restaurant, and a young woman stares alluringly at you prepare to be asked for cash. Learn to accept and enjoy your lot. Plan and stick to that plan. Actions speak louder than thoughts. Today someone will tell you the truth but you’ll never believe them. Shark nets and repellent for luck while on holiday in Gansbaai, South Africa. You are what they eat.

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