Investor Points of Few – To All The Sprunts I’ve Ever Loved…

By Alan Steel

Yep, that title sure isn’t going to attract much by way of search engine optimisation (SEO).

(Hate mail, maybe…and probably a lot of raised eyebrows, but no traffic rush.)

Still, I think it’s important to say it, and to do so in a way and with words that make folks rethink what might have otherwise been ignored.

That’s because this decade’s reliance thus far on a sprunt (a time and place that’s gone forever) as a basis for quomodocunquizing (making money in any way that they can) is sure creating some major stock market confusion.

In simplest terms, “the lot” out there thinks we’re economically and stock marketly screwed.

The facts say otherwise, but who wants to ruin a good headline with the truth.

Meanwhile “the few” keep wondering why “the lot” keep believing we’re so screwed – terrified in part that when “they” finally realise “It’s a bull market, stupid” things could quickly erode into euphoric bubbles.

And then all the pining for a return to “the good old days” of a glacially slow, yet wonderfully profitable recovery will begin.

Despite the fact that all “the lot” and even some of “the few” did was bitch and moan while it was here.

And that’s true for all you fudgels (those pretending to work), the grokes out there (those who look at someone else’s plate until they’re offered some), and even that bizarrely rare animal who actually invests well for clients and themselves (known as a “unicorn” on Wall Street – though not to be confused with a unicorn business, which is actually a species of groke). 

So maybe the use of some semi-ridiculous and somewhat uncomfortable words to tease the brain into thinking might jar a few of “the lots” into “the few” pile.

Christ only knows if someone could replace the word “pension” for a phrase with more millennial appeal, like “untaxable moolahcrity” we might have more folks who could enjoy their “golden years” eating something other than beans-on-toast.

And I’ll continue to digress… 

The investor finifugalising (fear of finishing anything) is more widespread than partially completed houses in Italy (ya gotta start paying home tax in the old country when the place is finally done…so they don’t do either).

As such, “the lot” dance in and then out of the stock market at each economic headline malignancy, rubbing the scars of their 2008/09 sprunt as they finifugalise their way through buying high and selling low.

Some even sprunt their way as far back as 2000 and 1987, all the while imagining the next financial tumor growing in their portfolio, and believing cash deposits and bond funds will deliver their future quomodocunquizing.

For most it’s a wheady mile to the realisation that this type of behaviour is just bad for your wallet.

Folks, don’t smicker your way through the headlines, sprunting recessions past and plundering your quomodocunquizing opportunities with all this finifugalising.

Get some clarity.

Get some good advice.

Remember: The goal of retirement is to live off your assets-not on them. 

Alan Steel, Chairman, Alan Steel Asset Management

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