By Alan Steel
Will the ubiquitous powers of Brexit never cease?
How many alleged tragedies must unfold across our broadsheets and tabloids in its name before the thing actually begins?
And will we ever recover from this hacking, wheezing, runny-nosed man-flu of Euro-separation anxiety?
Our decision not to remain ‘Europed’ appears to be impacting nearly every facet of our lives. It’s like a constant state of No Europa Nervosa (NEN); an incurable mental condition with no apparent basis in reality.
Anything and anyone can fall victim. It’s highly contagious, airborne, has reached pandemic levels and is most commonly contracted through exposure to media.
The symptoms are all-pervasive:
- Investors not investing? Brexit’s keeping them on the sidelines.
- The impact on our future gene pool? They’re calling it, “Merkelicious Deficiency Syndrome.”
- Woke up this morning with bad breath? Must have Chronic Brexitosis.
- Can’t achieve an erection? You’re ‘Imbrexotent’.
The affliction is also oxymoronic, as there is both no cure and no apparent cause for concern.
Just this morning I was reminded by the media of the link between Brexit and climate change.
You can see the effects right in my own backyard…
The news called it a “weather bomb.”
I’m calling it “rain.”
I hope it catches on…
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